Dealing with College

Part 1 of a series of stories from my college years. Between the stories are recommended tips on how one should deal with these situations.

Graduated Valedictorian of MCA High School

In my junior and senior year in high school, I was heavily pressured to go to college. Of course, my guidance counselor believed in my ability to do well in college and always remarked that I had the best grades in my year. Over the course of those two years, I visited schools along the East Coast, attended college fairs and met with representatives from universities across America. It was an exciting time for me, but there was one problem...

I was not mentally ready for college.

Winning means everything...ha

At the time, I was so overwhelmed by my responsibilities in High School, I was Captain of the debate team, leader of an IT Group, a member of the MCA Leadership Team and a high school tutor. These things made me happy and I was content with the ways things were. When it came to picking my next destination, I became overwhelmed. (This leads me into my first tip: Tip 1: Don't be afraid to plan for your future in the 9th Grade: it is a scary thing to think about but it gets worse if you wait until the last minute to plan your life)

My Family: Dad, Sister & Mom

There was more pressure at home. My parents are from the Caribbean and they are both hardworking people who may have been borderline helicopter parents. They wanted me to stay close to them and we fought tooth and nail until I conceded that I would stay in NYC for College. I chose the school that I was most content with at the time: St. John's University. My choice to go to St. John's was based on three things: prestige, price and proximity. St. John's, in my opinion, had all three so I was heading there. Of course, my parents wanted me to live at home, but that wasn't going to happen, It became clear to me that this was my experience in college and if that was the case, I needed to have my own experiences in college. The type of experiences you can only have away from home. So I decided to live on campus. (Tip #2: College is what you make of it, make the experience your own) Living on campus was the first step in making my college experience my own.

Living on campus was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I found myself meeting people, having fun and opening myself up to a new world. But as I started to enter into this new world. I started to realize that I had almost forgotten about the other roles that I had to deal with at home. Beyond my new role as a student and son I was also a boyfriend.

I gained the freshman fifty

Yes, believe it or not, but someone would actually date me back then. Me and my girlfriend at the time thought we were serious, we had these major plans about what our future would look like together. However, I never seriously considered the impact college would have on me and my relationship. As soon as I touched down on campus, I became overwhelmed with the new experiences and the new women I was meeting everyday on campus. During my first away trip with St. John's University on a volunteer-service trip, I fell for another girl while I was still with my girlfriend. While nothing happened between the both of us, I started to realize that I was not as committed to the relationship as she was, so I broke it off. This started a new cycle of us going on again/off again for the next year and mainly because I was breaking up with her. I finally ended things for her with her over a phone call in Rome. My ex-girlfriend is a wonderful person, but I realize that I was growing up and developing in new ways and while I remained faithful, I was not emotionally committed to the relationship. (This leads me to Tip #3: As college nears, if you have a high school relationship, determine what are the needs of your relationship and if you both can accommodate them)


PART 2...Coming Soon: